Cringe Attack: Senses

I was a northern state for a week and it was a great stay. The capital city of this state was a lovely one albeit its little discomforts. But one thing that reinforced in me was that your senses are sure to be the first point of attack every time you go out. As I returned home I realized that we wage a war of senses with the world we step out of our home. We win sometimes, we lose most times, but that doesn’t matter because every smell, every temperature, every sound, every pressure is an experience. I’ll leave the shade of feeling you feel to you. If this post makes you cringe, my job is done.

Eye-o!

There are lots of things that you see with your eyes, like the orange coat sunset over the clouds, or the trippy half-cut side of a purple cabbage, or the way the coffee powder mixes slowly into milk. These are some soothing sights that you see in your day to day life which have a positive effect or not effect you.
Here comes the Attack.
The first attack I want to talk about is the one where you’re sprayed with Influenza infected droplets of death, Saliva. Sneezing is one of the most ungodly acts of human nature when done without closing mouth. I’ve been in a situation where a light behind a man highlighted his open sneeze and I saw the particulates fly off in every direction. Brrr. I ran before I got a fresh coat of Saliva.
Everyone loves eating, but some people manage to make it the most undesirable act of the century. They chew with the mouths so open that a Crow could come and pick some food off. Also, that sound that accompanies it. “Chowk Chowk Chowk”. Please.
Human body makes a lot of wastes, some of them are disgusting, some of them go unnoticed, I’m going talk about the disgusting one. Oh, not that one, but the one that comes from your eyes and nose. Doesn’t that little white goop in their eyes want to scratch out your own eyes? Or the gummy boogers you see having a fun time swinging in their nose hairs make you cut off your own nose? If you have felt the same way, Hello. Once I saw a man whose boogers slipped and fell into his soup. I wanted to jump out of my skin. I’m not saying everyone will be aware every time, but please for the love of god!
Have you ever sat in a restaurant or a coffee shop and someone bent down right before your face? Yes, getting a butt in your face is not the greatest thing while eating food. But that’s not the worst part, it’s the butt crack that makes you spit out your intestines. If you manage to think that, ‘it’s Butt, nothing but’ then you might be built for something stronger like the spitting.
Oh. It’s not the normal spitting. This is a special kind of spitting that makes you hate physics. The spit that curves. The phenomenal bus-window spit. This guy who has been ‘arachifying’ that pan in his mouth for the past 30 minutes chooses the exact moment right before you get up, before the vehicle halts at your bus stop, and he goes “plicchhhh” towards the windows. You must have seen rainbows? That’s how the spit curves. It curves from his mouth and hits the one behind his seat. That is, you, painting you in Red. As your tears mix with the pan, I’ll let you deal with that scarring image.

Ke’Kadhu’

Ears are a wonderful sense to enjoy the world, the sweet music of the nature swishing and swooshing with winds, or the consistent tapping of rain on your window or the eargasm you feel when you hear the waves rock you to sleep. But there is another side to sounds. Naaais.
Here comes the attack
One might think this is the lesser of sensory attacks, but I have some tricks for this one. You might’ve experienced this, you’d be having lunch and there would be this one guy that will have his lunch and make sounds like a whale. You can literally hear him drinking his water, or munching his murukku.
Or those loud talkers in theatres who seem to make the most irritating noises of all. And there would be another couple that will making noises that mimic rats squeaking. Get a room please.
There are those idiots who tap the table during an important meeting. Man, that makes you so mad. They must be hung with their ID cards.
And you bathroom singers. Pothum da dei
You know, you’re moving in a line, standing in a que for a bank or even Pongal in kovil, then you hear a sound, “darrrrrrr”. Let’s pray to the mighty power above it was a one of those times where a hole was made in a fabric by tearing and not the people tearing a hole in the fabric of time by releasing body air. Ewww. IKR.

Mooku Varmam

This is my favourite/unfavourite part in this blog. My special wishes and condolences to nose for enduring so many things in life. Seriously Nose, You da man.
As the heading says, using nose is an art, it has a million good purposes, like taking in the sweet smell of vadai, or the fragrance of a flower or the olfactory treat of breathing in a new book. But at times certain things are thrust upon you and you can’t hold your breath always.
Here comes the attack
First let’s start with all bodily odours. I think a bus is the place where one can experience all the human based odours. First of all, sweat, that little salt droplet that rolls down from your underarm, ever so slowly that it progresses like the dooms day that’s coming towards us. While you’re engrossed in tracking that sweat bullet on your skin, the person standing behind you is grossed out by the unmissable gappu it creates. His poor nose is bombarded by nasal bomb from you. As he tried to move away from you, someone else releases something else among the bus crowd. This thing as strong as the Bomb Trump dropped over afghan. Beware, this one is the sum product of multiple dishes from the previous day that didn’t ferment properly inside your body. I really wish there was a fart detector in public places. People would run for life.
You go to the conductor to get ticket, but your heart stops for a few minutes as your face goes into different corners of your head. The smell of bad breath demands you! It demands you to be felt! This is such a horrible experience you know. You can’t express the insane amount of discomfort your nasal cavity faces wanting you to rip off the nose but also must continue the conversation until you get what you need. All his pan, unbrushed teeth, the onions he had, makes sure you count your blessings post this experience
Seri, okay you get down from the bus and another war. The mighty koovam. This ever-present river will make sure your olfactory senses are deactivated for a few moments such that you can’t breathe.
But the other thing that trumps this is public bathrooms. If there is a place where you want to train your senses, this is the ultimate dojo. Nose, eyes, and ears will be made sure you grow a new pair.
Nose Knows Everything.
After all this if you survive you’re the best.
Remember. Everyone has problems related to body, don’t take it lightly, make sure you fix it. Also make sure you don’t offend anyone with your words.

Why Jan 1?

At this moment I hear people bursting crackers and shouting out on roads and celebrating new year. But why Jan 1?

What has changed?

Has our Appa calling us “thandasoru”, changed?
Has our best friend calling us eruma maadu, changed?
Would your spouse love you more than before?
Would your husband cook more for you?
Would your parents understand your earning for doing something out of pure interest and drive?
Would the effect of your daily cigarettes affect your lungs lesser?
Would your dirty jetti wash itself?
Will your company and boss give you extra salary?
Do you think you can reduce that little belly fat and become fit?
Would you donate a part of your salary to charity post Jan 1?

Why do people choose Jan 1 to celebrate?
Why does this day mark such a special occasion all over the world? Most of us Indians don’t even have the need to follow the Gregorian Calander outside our jobs, we may be use them for uniformity. Most of our parents use their own religious calendars even now. But why have we adopted this one? This wave of new year go around the world even in countries that don’t follow this calendar. Why go to pubs and clubs and dance away till our hips lie and drink till our lips lie? Why spend thousands on crackers and watch so called fireworks. Hell, we even adopted it into our diwali scheme. Why Jan1?

I think I know why.

Hope.

Hope,that little thing that keeps us running 365 days and 24 hours throughout the year. The hope for a better life, The hope of something better than what you had today. The hope of your close ones will become closer to you. The little shimmering ray of light that will keep you alive to face the next day. That special thing, Hope is what makes this Jan 1 special. Believe me there is nothing else special about January 1st. For Indians we have pongal, other wise no emotional pongal. So Keep that Hope living.

Let that hope feed your passion, let that hope help you reach your goals. let that hope make you kiss your man. Let that hope make you hug your kids more. Let that hope make you travel alone. Let that hope make you read more books. Let that hope make your parents believe you. Let that hope make you adopt more pets. Let that hope Give you a better year.

Let that Hope live.

May Coincidence ever be in your Favor.

Happy New year

#Hope

Quit Job to Travel? Edit

I see all those posts saying, Quit Job and go travel. I personally feel that particular statement is wrong, it irks me to see such a wrong message being portrayed. You don’t need to Quit your job to travel, You should Quit your job if and if only you’re not satisfied with it at the end of the day. You might have other interests which might fetch you a job, or you might have skills that other jobs require, quit your job and go there. Simply letting go of your source of income to travel is absolute bullshit. Yes, you need to travel, not because the world says so or because you want to take a vacation. Travel because it would give you experiences that your routine life wouldn’t, travel because it would give chance to push your body or mind or both, travel because it would be a way to learn new people and new stuff from far and wide. So many posts roam around the Internet with horror stories of people who quit their job to travel and ended up on road after a point. They only fair reason to quit your job to travel is if you know how to make money by travelling, if you don’t, then let nature help you. We’re all social beings, though ideally we shouldn’t be controlled or micromanaged by our societal pressure, we have certain responsibilities to do. If you travel without taking steps for those responsibilities, then travel is just a luxury.
Never let that travel spirit down, kindle it every now and then.
Travel far, Travel Wide, Travel Free.