I’m gonna tell you why being imaginative is a not the greatest thing.

Yesterday night around 11.30 I was rolling uneasily on my bed. With the mosquitoes doing a Buzz session near my ears and donating my blood to themselves, it wasn’t very easy for me to sleep. Out of sheer boredom I get up to get a midnight snack from our fridge. But then something catches my eye, I see a white shade of light moving over the wall outside my room door, I feel a tinge creep through my skin, its fear. I shudder and try not to breathe loudly, but the dancing light was making it very difficult. I silently drop down on my bed.

Now, I was sitting up right on my pillow now trying to comprehend the white light over the wall. Fueled by the scary ghost stories and the horror movies I’ve seen all my life, I turned multiple time behind to see if there was any bony hand coming out of the darkness to get me or pairs of red eyes peering over me through the shadow. Thankfully there was none. But I was still spooked out by the weird light outside my room, “what was it?”. Gathering courage, I get up and take my first step and my heart stops. I realize I have stepped over something squishy and flat. I was so scared that I heard my own heart beat. *dum dip dum dip dum dip*

Too afraid to move I, keep my foot on the thing, running a thousand guesses on what it might be and how to tackle it if it attacks me. And then a a brute force pushes me out of balance. To afraid turn back, my eyes fall on the light, the light that made me question my existence, the light that denied me of my midnight snack, the light that made me forget that I needed to pee. The light that was reflecting from the new shiny chandelier/wind chime like thing my mom made out of her new hobby. I breathe a sigh of relief and switch off the light creeped me out through the chandelier.

I went back to sleep realizing two things.
1. Imagination is deadly.
2. Do not step on your brother’s hand, He will push you, even if it’s at midnight.

“Dei, Saniyaney kannu theriyatha unaku”
#SorryBro

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How (not) to be Sharmaji’s Son


Pre-disclaimer– This is my attempt at portraying the difficulties of being a male child in a typical Indian family in a comic tone. There is some cringe worthy stuff inside this blog which you might not want to read, then kindly like the blog and shoo away. If I’ve hurt or if there is a lapse in logic or if I’ve made mistakes, I’d try my best to correct them when pointed out earnestly.

Unless you’re a boy child you wouldn’t know how difficult it is to be one. Ever since you’re born, shit ton of things are expected from you. Right from the moment your head stands on its own and you say, ‘chuchu’, there are a lot things people want you to be and it is not a simple feat achieving them. I have tried my best to compile a comprehensive and humorous blog on how (not) to be an ideal Male child or Be Sharmaji’s son. Also let me tell you the two reasons why I’m writing only about men and not women,

  1. I’m a Male human.
  2. Sadly, I’m a son too.

The difficulty of being a son starts early, you’re expected to be cute, intelligent and still hold the baby charm at the same time. You should know how to spell long words, know rhymes, thirukural, tell poems, write novels, solve calculus, become scientist and go to mars. Dei how da? When I was little I didn’t even know how to wear jetti(underwear) properly, how would I know how to pronounce lorry? The best I could do was Rolly, Sorry Mum and Dad. First patient eh baedhi baby.

Udaney comes the pre-school and primary. By now we should’ve been excelling at sports, studies and arts, but the tables turn when we grow up though. I’ve heard from modern parents that they’re upset that their child is unable unlock the phone by itself. Aiyo paavam

Then Comes one of the most difficult stages of being a boy – The puberty (don’t imagine flashing lights and big banners, that’s strictly for girls). For girls it’s a function for us boys it’s a hard time getting up (boys will know). Dei they celebrate you growing into pretty people and give you all kinds of jewellery, but what we get called, ‘kada maadu’(grown cow) of increasing frequency. Yes, we understand your difficulty in puberty girls, with the period and cramps and all, but there is certain stuff where men find it difficult to cope with too. One of the major frustrations is body hair, it grows everywhere, like all over da. You do not know how many times it gets caught in your clothes and punishes you every time by stripping away chunks of hair. And there are times where hair doesn’t grow where it has to, Poor bald men. May lightning slip on your heads and you never be called vazhukupaarai.

Don’t even get me started about clothes, nothing fits. In a span of 3 years you grow more than 3 sizes, I can see the eye roll from the other gender. Hey you have so many types and styles of clothes to try out! All we have is four clothes- two inners and two outers. Pants which used to be loose barely fits your arm, Zips? They’re a nightmare. Threatening to reduce your shot at making family every time you use that Zip. Maatna Margaya. Our shoulders become broad that neither L or X dresses fit. XL makes us look like a blown out balloon. But there are a few who seem to stay little even after the growth spurt, aama growth-u spurt-u.

Grow up a little more and you’re forced to become an engineer, and I can assure you that men are forced into Engineering more. Engineering goes away in a confused state whether to love or not. Don’t worry mostly Single than. You somehow manage to get a date and go to some restaurant, Anga pona etho Chivalry aam, Men must pay. Pocket money, Saavu Mani.

While you’re here trying to comprehend the stuff that’s going around you there will be a particular boy who will get more marks than you and do more internships than you, that idiot is your best friend from school. Aapu begins there. If academics is in this state, your ego takes a hit when you see a guy younger than you with more certificates. Ippovey kannakattuthey

Appadiye shifting to home, your chance of getting new things and clothes reduces if you have an elder brother or elder male cousins. You are the one that get all the second hands. After evading everything in home and college you come out. There stands a group just to brand you, the society. And I share this with our opposite gender humans, we both get judged.

Poriki if you have beard, pazham if you shave, rowdy if your haircut is snazzy, loosu if your dressing sense is different. Talking about haircuts one single mess-up can make you move to a different state and change your identity. I have seen guys skip school and college after having a bad haircut. We don’t have bad hair days, rather we have bad-hair-months-leading-to-identity-crisis situations. Beards are a lost cause, your friend has a sage beard and buys beard wax and mush oil while your chin has a single hair which you’re forced to be proud of. Ushabbba.

Seri, when you come home amma wants you to fix her grinder. You wonder why, Nee Engineer da mundam, says your brain. But how? Just because you do engineering doesn’t mean you can fix it, amma doesn’t know this. Avlothan. Appa comes over to questions you to boredom and gives career advice and life lessons, free of cost da!.

Then comes the working stage. Suddenly from being super broke you’re blessed with your own salary, wait wait, mom and dad make you responsible by handing you some bills, pfff yeah, ‘some’ bills. At the end of the month after trying your best to be a good son you’re left with spare cash which is enough only to buy two plates of paani poori.

Jumping over all this, you’re not even allowed to choose your favourite color, Men like blue da macha, No. I like purple, cyan and mauve. Maavu ah? Aama, Maavu than.

Added to this is a list where men are frowned upon if they don’t know to ride a bike. Once my relative gave had a culture shock reaction with vaai aaa open until his wife closed it. Dei I know cooking, you knowva?!, I make very good Pongal and vadakari.

All this also okanynga, the most difficult thing is managing people from your own gender, if you don’t smoke you’re a wuss, if you don’t drink you’re a loser. “if you don’t try all these then what’s the use in living life?” echoes a question from the past. Apparam, Who said all men are strong and courageous? Yov I have been in a very few fights all my life and what nambikkai you send me with mom at 10.30 pm ah? Dei road dogs da, they bow bow once and bite twice da, please no.

Sports, yet another head ache. After receiving multiple frown-downs, I found out that all you have to do is say,’oh aama la, what a great match’ to everything related to sports, believe me it works. Also men are not allowed to cry, Boys azhakoodathu man.

The worst one happens to be the judging based on physical presence, your accidental bumps can lead you to police stations, beware. After all this there is a statistics that say men have a shorter life span. I was not ready da moment.

With all this being said, being a man is as difficult as being any other Gender with all due respect, sometimes in lesser and sometimes in greater magnitude. Let men be men.

Post-Disclaimer – The events, characters and relatives depicted in this blog are fictitious (summa luluvaiku). Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or to actual events or firms is purely coincidental or unfortunate (looking at the bald and short men, sorry)”. Wait what? Doesn’t that negate the whole point of the blog? Either that or some of these things is a lie. This is merely a try from my side. Any kind of comment is welcome.

My Honest Opinion – Dhoni and India

MS Dhoni – The Untold Story

First thing, this is not a review, Go watch this movie in theaters.
Second thing, I don’t know anything about sports. I was never much into it, I barely know a few player names. Cricket happens to be the one where I know a few more players than any other sport.
As soon as I realized the hype for the movie, I lost any interest to see it. but I went forward just for the sake of the name Dhoni. The movie of almost 3+ hours was an entertaining one, it has some fantastic fan moments. Goosebumps guaranteed .
But what makes this average scripted movie so special? The actor’s finesse? The cast? The match sequences? The female leads? NO.
It is this dream embedded into this movie in the form of a man named Dhoni.
This movie tells us the story of this hard-hitting, Helicopter-shotting, humble-hearted Captain cool. It shows us how a man from a Ranchi has come to lead India to lift he World Cup. Even if you’re not a fan, you’re going to shout(unlike me, because I had popcorn in my mouth.) Certain scenes raise your hair and makes you clap till you palms turn red. The love portion make you feel warm and makes you happy that Dhoni is blessed. The patriotism that courses through the movie makes the movie lively and get us through the 3 hours with out feeling dragged. All in all, it is a great movie. But there is more than this to the movie. This movie is about the whole of India, the mind set of India.
I personally feel that People like all great personalities because they have achieved what normal people haven’t. You might wonder, isn’t this the base of all our movies? A hero achieving super human feats and finding true love. Well, yes that is true. But this movie is about a real and living person, Mahendra Singh Dhoni, who has managed to pursue his dreams. He came in from middle-class family like the most of us, he goes to a normal, mundane job like the most of us, later he goes on to achieve his dream unlike us. This ‘Unlike us’ part is where start to like MSD.
You might ask me what is the point I’m leading up to. It is simply this, we look up to the people who’ve won the odds that were were not able to cross. They are the success stories of our own failed dreams. That is why we’re so interested in these great personalities. We yearn so much to become that person but can only dream to do so. Hence we take up every opportunity to witness them, be happy for them and rejoice to see them make our country proud.
Again, Why are so many people attracted to cricket?. It just happens to be that sport was the one bestowed to us by or previous rulers, The British.
I fell that Mahi’s tale has some fundamental points we have to take into account in all of our lives
1) Be humble, humility will let you see further than anyone else during the good times.
2) Be calm. Peace of mind will let you see further than anyone else during the bad times.
3) Respect people. Respect doesn’t come with age, it comes with wisdom.
4) Love will happen.
5) You need to listen to your heart.
6) Failures open doors to opportunities.
7) Duck at bouncers
Fan or not. This movie is to be seen, at least for the message it carries in between its lines.
#Inspiration

The Late Review -Jigarthanda

First Let me get Straight to the point.
This Movie is really great.

GO get the tickets.
But oh. it is late. Download it. It is really really good.
A class apart from your classic movies.

And this post is full of spoilers.

For every movie, the spine would be its story. Where the characters revolve around the plot, which is entwined by the music and the direction. The direction includes every aspect of the film technically, like the cinematography, the  lighting, the effects, the set etc etc.

Now a Great movie would satisfy those above three lines properly. And that movie is your Jigathanda.

Jigarthanda starts with an aspiring young director, promptly named Karthik Subbramani, who is given the task of directing a bloody and gory Gangster movie. So to write this story he searches for real life gangsters. With his sources he finds one such named Sethu in the all-famed Madurai. How the director gets the information and how he falls into his own doing is the movie’s gist.
The female lead Kayal (Lakshmi Menon) serves as the necessary evil and love in the movie.

The portrayal of Bobby Simha as Assault Sethu is done in a way you’d not expect him to be.
As an actor He is relatively new to us but as this Sethu Character he has already established himself very much.

This movie is laden with plot twist classic cult moments you expect from a Gangster flick.
But one thing this movie has unlike other gangster flick is its Unique way of Plagiarism or adaptation.
I feel that this movie had the style of Sergio leone or Quentin Tarantino in filmography and music.
Especially the interval scene and the music preceding it, though it was stunning, looked like something out from a Tarantino movie.

But it was enticing to see someone use those tricks in South Indian cinemas rather than copying a whole film for no good.
The Music by Santhosh Narayan is Ecstatic and rebellious. the background score for Sethu is done perfectly and in an unconventional manner.

Karunakaran as Karthik’s friend has done his role excellently and how it was expected from him.
The uncanny appearance of Vijay sethupathy is Sleek and surprising.
Anthe support characters have done superbly well with a special mention about Guru Somasundharam as the Acting Trainer.
This movie has some of those dialogues which would stand out for years to come.
The betrayal of a goon, the deaths, the music, the transformation of the Sethu, is all overwhelming as the movie ends.
You’d really want another movie like this.

Can we expect more quality films like these from Karthik Subbaraj in future?
Lets hope.

~Adi uthavura maari annan thambi kuda uthavathu

Surviving a day in Chennai.

Before we start, I’ll set the field why I did this in the first place.

Due to some agonizing personal and private reasons, I did not want to go to college on this particular day, and I did not also want to return home to an array of boring and annoying questions from my then on-leave family and its members. I had around 130 rupees and borrowed a 100 from a friend to whom I will be eternally grateful.
There were no friends I could turn to that day, since fortunately all my friends were responsible enough to go to college or work.(sarcasm intended). I was in full college attire with shoes and all.

And so with 230 rupees in hand I set out to spend a day Chennai, alone.
Since this was all pre-planned I had just a note and a novel in my bag, my earphones, my basic media phone, my kerchief (played an important role in the day) and a funky sun-glass (and an Imaginary Girlfriend).

It was around 7.30 when it was all decided, and I realized that I had around 9 hours to pass.
Seems like a lot of time doesn’t it?
Yes it is.

Without out further ado I took a bus to Besant nagar got a 50 rupees pass. I reached there by 30 minutes and the roads which I knew to be bustling with people and vehicles was empty.
I went to the shore, and pure bliss.
Sun over Sea. It was some of the best sights a person could witness on a morning. Taking that all in, I thought, “okay, maybe this day could go well”.

At a distance I heard someone calling out to me. It was a PC.  A Police Constable.
I walked to him with fear, as if i had killed a person.

He called me and inquired ‘What is the time kanna?’.

And few minutes later we were walking on the shore talking about all those love pairs who were there.
We went to a nearby Kaiyenthi bhavan and he offered me to buy me a breakfast. Yes he BOUGHT his own breakfast. I thanked him an left on my way.
I got the idea of returning to the beach,  sit there and read my novel.
But, it was 9 o clock. and now I did not know what to do. The sun was also showing up.

I boarded the bus towards Thiruvanmiyur but due to some unknown reason my mind asked me to get down at Madhya Kailash. I walked all the way to IIT in an Idea of visting a friend in IIT. but I remembered he was out of town. I started walking towards koturpuram in an idea of visiting Anna centenary library but my luck was acting upon me. It was closed that day for maintenance.
With nowhere to go I started walking, With earphones in my ears I felt like I owned the road. and I incidentally reached Birla Planetarium, which was also closed.

And suddenly my phone rang. It was my Brother. Completely Ignoring the call I carried on.

Time being 10.30 am, my stomach was beginning to give distress calls.
I again put aside the idea of reading my novel in park nearby.
Since my 50 rupees was spent in bus pass. I just had a 180 remaining.
I reached a small shop to buy something to buy where a Heated argument was happening between two people. And all of a sudden they began punching up each other.

Wondering what it could be, I bought a biscuit pack and a polo stick.
I sat on a bench put up there watching the fight. I struck up a conversation with the shop guy but he did not know why they were fighting. By now They were cussing each other.
Suddenly they stopped and walked towards me and passed me. They asked the shopkeeper something, who pointed to me.
To be Frank I was quite shocked at his gesture. They approached me and asked me something.
I was a little bewildered.
Again.
‘Thambi, Time enna pa?’
They were drunk.
I told them it was 11.15 am and left the place silently.
‘What the hell is it with people and time today?!’

The sun showing all its glory to people on earth, I was walking with my sunglasses and earphones blaring in my ears.
I did not know what that place was.
I found a bus stop and sat there. I was the only person in that place.
After almost half an hour there still was no bus.
I just thought of leaving, and a bus came by that read teynampet.

‘Oh Yes!’, I thought. ‘I could watch a movie in sathyam’

With just 165 rupees in hand I had to plan my lunch and movie with that.
I boarded the bus. and a sudden Brainwave.

I realized I was moving in the wrong direction. Away from Theatre.

I got down in a hurry. and boarded the right bus.
It was 12 o clock sharp when I got down. The sun was showing off its lighting skills.

On the way I saw a paani poori shop, I spent around 30 rupees for my lunch there.
On the street corner I saw a Amma Unavagam.
I faceplamed my self repeatedly.

I went to sathyam and took a ticket for this hollywood movie. It was about some alien outlaws protecting people.
I thought, ‘At last the day is gonna be done, the movie might take atleast till 4.30′.

The inter mission passed.

and by 3.15 I was forcefully chucked out of the theatre.

There again I was standing not knowing what to do.
I took a polo and put my earphones on again.

I was walking towards nowhere when a mother was taking her little kid home from school.
This kid cute as a little panda cub, was telling some stories to his mom, something about some fight. the mom was listening intently. Such pure love only women can give.

I thought I was screwed cause I just had 15 rupees in hand.
I had no other way but to reach home. I was at my wit’s end. and had no idea.
I took the bus towards my home and yet again my mind acted up and I got down near Semmozhi poonga.
The entry fee being 5 rupee, I entered and went around the whole park enjoying the beauty of nature that was starkly different from the city outside that was.

There a lot girls. Pretty girls.
Some single, some paired. But most of them pretty. (isn’t nature the best?)

Once again I due to some reason did not want to read my novel there.

I left the park around 4.50 and embarked my bus.
There were a three girls sitting in the last row conversing in English.
That bus being surprisingly and fairly empty, I sat in seat that was before them.

One of the Girls commented at me, something about my appearance, It irritated me and agitated me.
I kept quiet.
Though my earphones were on I could not help but hear their conversation about me.
Now, remember that I had been roaming all day, my face was over tanned, My dress was ruffled and my hair was matt and I was sweating profusely.
Their conversation was aimed on men like us who didn’t have decency and culture.
That we were some kind of I country brutes who always wanted to flirt and we were the reason women did not have security here.

I still was maintaining my silence.

My stop was nearing, so I stood up. Quickly this girl gave a staring glance at me and turned head head.

I did something I’d never imagined I’d do.

I went up to her and said,’Ummm excuse me, I could not help but listen what you were saying, Not all men are alike, not all of us behave or talk aloud and indecently as you just did. Yes, That maybe your opinion but here this is my opinion too.’

She was dumbfounded and stuttered something. Her friends shocked at this sudden incident.

Before Getting down, I said,’and hey you’re not even ogle worthy’.
Her Friends chuckled.

In my ears, a song from VIP had started.

I reached home, refreshed and sat down to read that novel at last.
Inside that was a 100 rupee note.

Fate is mysterious isn’t it?
~Kerchief was my best bet against pollution there.

Assassin’s Creed Series -The Late review.

( Reviewed Till present game)
Okay I write this after playing every possible game and DLC known to me, and available for PC for almost 2 months. Multiplayer excluded, Since pirated.
Firstly, I played the whole series Chronologically and Read in a few comics, reviews, watched 3 movies to fill in the gaps left by the Game’s story line.
The whole Story of the Assassin’s Creed Series inside the animus Happens roughly over 700 years ranging from 12th century to the 18th century. The in-animus and ex-animus Story is almost always about the Assassins vs Templar war, with scenario respective to its time period.
There are 6 Main games in total available for pc and a HD port from PS vita.
Though the Assassin’s always seem to win every single time, theoretically or practically or psychologically or physically, the Templars seem to come back from the grave even Stronger and more Powerful than last time.
Right from the first game, comics and movies its always about Assassins killing the Templars and the Templars trying to erase out the Assassins. So This serves as your story line for all your games.
All games consist of two major parts -the present and the memories relived. For the first 5 games the present day protagonist is a Desmond Miles who supposedly has Assassin and Templar ancestors and relives them by means of the Animus – a machine which decodes ancestor’s memories from his DNA. He fights against present day Templars who run the Abstergo industries
He relives the memory of three ancestor’s namely Altaïr Ibn-La’Ahad (AC), Ezio Auditore da Firenze(AC II, AC:BR, AC:R) and Ratonhnhaké:ton or Connor Kenway(AC III).
Now lets not ponder into the stories of these legends. Desmond, by reliving their memories, finds artifacts called ‘Pieces of eden’ using the Guidance from the first civilization to prevent earth’s destruction on 21-12-2012(I know).
Now, The first civilization flashes are annoying, irregular and doesn’t give you a clue about themselves properly.
The HD port known as AC Liberation HD has the first female Assassin.
The Latest game, which is AC Black Flag explores life of Edward Kenway via animus memories.
Both Liberation HD and Black flag tread from the usual Desmond storyline and explore the memories via Abstergo entertainment.
The Games as a whole are a delight to play, and each game varies in its own way.
as a gamer I felt that there was more originality in the first Assassin’s Creed and Assassin’s creed III. Though some of you would beg to differ these games changed the way Stealth, open world and AC games were played.
The original AC game you the freedom to execute your target where ever you wanted unlike every other scripted assassinations in other AC games.
Altair is the most skillful assassin in the creed makes a mistake and is stripped of his weapons and ranks as he becomes the Master assassin of the creed, he finds the apple of eden and hides it later in life.
The Renaissance Trilogy Showed you the life of Charismatic and Daring Ezio Auditore with new innovations and vehicles.
Ezio with his Power of influence and skills remade Italy into a beautiful and safe place from the templars.
There are a lot of Historically important characters in these games and you also Have Leonardo DaVinci.
Almost all the set pieces were fun and challenging The Double blade was a killer and bombs were fun.
The games were full of new innovations which were being tested upon innocent players. but some of them like the hook blade were really good.
The trilogy Gave a powerful story when it lacked in gameplay.
As a whole the Best game in the trio was definitely AC II with its Solid story and Innovative gameplay.
In Assassin’s Creed III you play as an American Native During the civil unrest in Americas, you are a common enemy for both loyalists and patriots though you help both at times. again you relive the memories to find an artifact to get to the final solution to save the earth in present day.
The game is surprisingly good looking with eye popping changes in Graphics, and fair changes in gameplay, with naval Battles
Though the story is weak, the ending in present day is satisfying and twisted.
There is not much to say about the PC port .i.e. Liberation HD. It serves as a link between AC III and AC Black Flag via Aveline de Grandpre. Aveline is the first and only female AC character till now.
Black Flag. This possibly might be the most fun game and gripping game in the AC series. but it did lack the punch in the storyline. The game drops you into the beautiful Caribbean sea and its bootyful glory.
The game takes a detour from usual Assassins vs. Templars concept.
Edward Kenway, the grandfather of Connor is more of a Pirate than an Assassin.There are Epic Naval battles, which is a major attraction to the game. There is not much to do or learn in the present day part of the game which is in first person view.
From the series as a whole My favorite was AC II.
And the upcoming Assassin’s Creed: Unity happening during the french revolution Lets hope a Better and stealthier Assassin’s Creed From Arno Dorian.
I take leave as I wish to return to the High Caribbean
~Comments are welcome.

ummm… AWKWARD!

Some times we how ever we manage ourselves we end up in situations where you end up being queasy and alien to situation.

You begin to act up such that someone random might say that ‘Well that escalated quickly’.
At these time you would want die there instantly. Twice. Forever.

Here are some instances you can relate to your awkward everyday life.
-First, Waving and shouting a weird nick name at someone who you think they’re, but they’re not.
I love the reaction after the realisation dawns.
-Talking to someone who is lost in his ear phones.
Don’t you wanna erase your face after that?
-Forgetting a joke halfway through.
People love these type of jokes, erm.. jokers.
-How are you?.> Doing good, how about you? > Good, Thanks, and you?.
Wow your face looks uncomfortable and funny too.
-Tripping in front of a crowd and playing it cool.
They all laughed, yes they did. They still do.
-Missing a Hi-5 and doing a fistbump instead.
After this its always bye-5 for you.
-Getting wronged for a worker in a shop while shopping.
Great job man.
-Made fun of, by a child.
Isn’t humor the best thing, for everyone else?
-Getting stuck in an immovable position in crowded spaces like elevators.
They all saw it. SAW IT.
-Going out With a love couple.
You have a big heart. and even bigger brain which is empty.
-Choosing paths in a narrow way.
Personal advice, if its a lady, go WITH her.
-Eye contact with anyone stranger or friend.
The awkwardness materialises.
-And Basically, life in general.
-I know, I know. you suck.

~welcome to my blog… oh wait.