You’ll reach your college for 3rd sem arrear exam if you start for 11th half yearly.
You’ll reach for your child’s 3rd birthday if you’re going to meet your 1st ex-girlfriend.
You start for an interview and reach for your Junior’s promotion. Wait, that won’t happen! Avanukum vela kedachirukathu.
You start during Sherlock Season 5 and reach when Sherlock season 6 promo comes out.
You start for Saravanan Meenatchi… uh… you’ll still end up there.
In an event of rare occurrence a Swami and a Nun we’re engaged to each other. The best man of the wedding was their best friend, a Fakir.
But the Nun’s followers didn’t want him to get married, so they deviced a plan to stop the marriage. Some big shots manipulated the fakir to plant another woman’s inner wear in the Swami’s room so that his fiancé thinks he is cheating on her.
The Nun knew there was a conspiracy going on from her followers and was very alert. They gave him multiple items to plant on the bed that the Swami was sleeping in. But the fakir being Swamiji’s best friend had a last minute change of mind so he made a plan. The fakir didn’t notice the Nun who was hiding in the balcony and her brother, a Pastor, who was hiding inside. He tiptoed silently up to Swami’s bed and began placing the clothes and a paper hidden inside telling all the details. They both caught him red handed, but he confessed. At that time The Swami woke up and saw the clothes and misunderstood the situation. Angrily, he attacked his best friend. The fakir now irritated, stopped Swami and showed him the note which explained everything. Now the followers who were waiting outside from outside the room were ashamed and asked for their forgiveness. The Swami directed them to his Fiancé but she didn’t forgive them and told them the Lord will take care.
A writer was was seeing all this from the next building. He was sleepy but his deaf wife wanted to know what happened. So he shortened the whole climax and said in his own comical way,
“You fakir! She Swami!, I ran Pastor”
The wife asked about the woman, he replied
“Fucks given: Nun”
Aishu was excited, because she going to meet him after 4 months. Vijay, her love, her husband. She was finding it hard to hold her excitement about surprising him. She was laughing about how Vijay was complaining about his hotel neighbour being a noisy one. When she arrived there, She told the hotel staff of her surprise plan and waited for him in his room. It was beginning to get late and she texted him as if she wasn’t in his place. Vijay said that he won’t be going to hotel cause he was staying at one of his colleagues place nearby for the night. In thoughts of surprising him early morning, she went to bed smiling. The bed was peculiar and felt like it had pebbles under it. Midst her sleep her dress began to become cold and wet. Opening her eyes she saw a figure dancing above her, two arms falling and making soft tapping noises. Her heart jumped and she adjusted her eyes only to see a khaki colored shirt that was hung near her bead. It’s buttons were tapping against the wood.
Composing herself she, sat up right and rolled the shirt and threw it into a corner. The scarlett draped bed wasn’t wet anywhere but her dress was changing into fresh clothes she went back to sleep again to be woken by a screeching noise and keys jingling.
It was Vijay!
She acted as if she was sleeping and waited for him to come to bed. She waited and waited and dozed off. During her sleep she felt his arms playing over her skin but didn’t say anything. It was so typical of Vijay… But throughout the night, she felt as if something was dripping somewhere near here. She even felt something drop on her often.
She woke up startled early morning, Vijay wasn’t there. She open the main room door, to find Vijay coming out of the opposite room. He seemed surprise and said that he didn’t know that Aishu was there to visit him. At the exact moment the concierge came in running and said ‘I gave the wrong key, ma’am, this room is off the limits’. The concierge was breathing up and down, Vijay had a fear that was evident in his eyes.
Before we could ask him more questions, He continued, “Two years ago, there was a serial killer who stayed in this room. He killed his victims dug out their eyes and skinned them alive.”
Vijay’s Jaw dropped and Aishu’s legs began to tremble. Vijay started to say something, but the Concierge interrupted and continued.
“He has killed hundreds of people and has done the same modus operandi of skinning them alive and removing their eyeballs using kitchen knife only. He hid the eyeballs in his bed and hung the skins over the bed. The police told us that he enjoyed getting soaked by his victims’ blood as it dripped on him.”
“H..h…aa…has he been caught?” blurted Aishu.
“Oh yes, he was caught.”
Vijay and Aishu sighed in union
“ ‘was’… but he escaped…”
“ The police also found out that he often disguised himself as a Hotel staff”
The Concierge Smiled.
Sky is a Star studded drape to the cosmic window,
To look at it is a marvel, to look beyond is ecstasy,
But decision depends directly on thyself,
To be outside the window or inside the room,
Inviting, may be the pleasures, exciting are the treasures
Of life that we ignore as infinitesimal, do you see?
Do you see the construction of the creation by the creator?
It is none, but a simple fact, the joy of living, joy of loving,
Indulge in banalities, you may, divulge in the beauty of aesthetics,
Decades later where do you stand? Beneath a tree sipping water?,
Or making art like hands of a potter?, or reduced to yearning for a quarter?,
Fall down in the mud, stepping up each time is a bud that will bloom,
Never fret, Never fear, Never give in to the gloom,
Let the wheels of coincidence decide your motion,
There isn’t a need to fuss or cause a Commotion,
Illuminate your canvass with stains and paints,
Be gratuitous, care for a soul, dare life and never play foul.
Kabali Khan: Allooooo
Kabali: Hello, Kabali here. *in the most rajinistic voice ever*
Kabali Khan: Kabali ah? Appa naanga mattum yaaru? Naangalum kabali than ya.
Kabali’s assistant: Baashha bhai ungala ippovey paakanumnu solraru.
Kk: Athu Yaarya baashha boy? Ippo than Kabali nu sonna?
Paakanumna ungoiyava vara sollu.
K: Kanna panninga than kootama varum singam single ah than varum. Naan than Kabali from Malaysia. Kumudhavalli pathi visarika phone pannen.
Kk: Ippo ethuku antha punchu? Singam single ah illa married ah nu un kitta sollucha? Nee en ithellam solra? Ippadi than oruthan avan aal Sangeetha saivamnu oor poora hotel la board vechan, avan enna aanan theriyuma?-
K: Thambi, konjam irunga mukkiya vishyam pesalamnu vanthen, naa yaarnu theriyama pesitu irukeenga.
Kk: Yov, nee antha sandai podra thambi Buruce Lee oda thambi Kaba Lee thaney? Kiyaaaa nunkathithey irunthaney pa ungannan, ippadi vesham vestaangungaley paavinpasanga.
K: Illa avaru vera—
Kk: Yov, avan podatti thaney Kumudhavalli? Aama seri nee en antha pullai ah thedra? Un pech eh seri illaye.
K: Naan Coatu podrathuthan unaku prechana poduven da Unaku naan pesarthu than prechana na pesuvenda, style ah, geth ah—
Kk: Yov yov kabali, iruya, Naangalum coat poduvom, Appo vey naanga Vandu murugan ah coat suit ellam potu nadanthavaga. Kadupethrar my lord.
*Phone call disconnects*
K: Indiala evalavo maariduchu, innum ithu maarala. Poo vizhuntha poo paathai, Thala vizhuntha singa paathai.
Kabali’s another assistant: nee Indiavukey poidu Shivaji, intha punch ellam keka mudiyala.
Kk: Vaada nee vaada en areaku vaada, Naan ingathan pondicherry la livingston. Apparam etho Kabali nu en peru sonna, Athu yaaru ippo Shivaji.?
K: Naan Kabali than, Naan oru thadava sonna 100 thadava sonna maari. Ippo summa athirum paarunga
Kk: 1000 vaati sonnalum naan kekamaaten, periya periya naai sekar, chinna bagavathi ellam naan paathurken.
K: neenga romba thappa pesringa Mr.Khan.
KK: shoiiyyoooo, nee thanya wrong call pannitu wrong ah pesrathu. *begins to chew beeda* *beep* *beeeeep* *beeeeeeeeep*
Disclaimer: This is just for fun. I book the first FDFS tickets for all Rajini Movies.