How to be a Perfect Villain Guide for dummies.

Wasn’t Joker a great villain in The Dark Knight?
but he was not your perfect Villain. Yes he Had his own Flaws and Mistakes. Face it.

We’ve all had our own favorite villains, though they change from time to time only very few stay in our hearts and eat it out.
Let us see if they come under these criteria.

Primarily these are your type of villains.
-Psychopaths
-Maniacs
-Man Hunters
-Vengeance Holders
-Situational Murders
-Passionate Killers
-Hobbyists

You decide Which category you fall under.

But all of these villains have a common trait: They are EVIL.

So what defines a Perfect Villain?
-Firstly its his Composure. A villain must never lose his composure, he must lose his cool when something goes wrong or go off guard when his plan worked perfectly. A villain is UNNATURALLY CALM. (yep sathyaraj)
But the is always a ‘but’. He can go into berserk mode if he is facing the Hero or another Equal Villain.(Raghuvaran Sir! and Jack Torrance)
-Then He must always act alone even though he has an array of thugs and killers at his disposal. He must have a backup plan for himself even for the best of his plans.(Heya Joh Kerr!)
-If the villain is a ‘She’ she should have followers such that she need not even talk. They act just with her Body language, and since she is a woman she may use the seduction trick at heroes. (that kill bill woman if anyone knows)
-A Villain always has some trick up his sleeve, even after the last trick. (Khan Noonien Singh, Ra’s Al Ghul and many more!)
-They always Make drastic change in plan to his favor of course. (Hans Gruber anyone?)
-He or She has some interesting hobby. (‘Monsieur’ Calvin Candy and his Mandingos)
-Importantly He/She must use the Weapon of “SARCASM” as often as possible. (Vegeta, and most others!)
-They must always have a backstory which is only as truthful as the forgiveness they’re gonna give you. (Keyser Soze!)
-They Must and can kill people with supernatural speed, ease and power and Heartlessly. (Darth Vader)
-The corpses they leave will mentally scar you or even kill you. (John Doe from Se7en and Hannibal Lecter)
-They must always die at the end.(All Villains)
-And Importantly, Somehow return Back with Badass style again. (You know who.)

So do you have it to be the best villain?

~a Word from a married Friend summing up all this: Wife.
p.s. oh and the thing about Joker? it was a joke. 😛

Fraction.

“Just throw the bait and wait son, he will come to you”, Stein remembered his father’s words from the fishing day festival.
He was slowly able to flex and move, he worked his muscles at full strength and started running at Isaac. He swiftly picked up the sharp piece of glass that was floating and jumped at Isaac, fractions later,
The next time wave hit them.
An hour earlier…
“How did he manage to set it off?!” Stein wracked his brain over and over, he went over every possibility of how it could happen and how Isaac would try to escape its consequences.
He knew there was only one possibility for all this to happen. He must have embedded a quantum Chip to his brain like himself. The Quantum chip enables the user to use the brain normally even when time has slowed or speeded up.
This chip enables brain to become a quantum computer, i.e. work or rather think outside the time-space fabric.
“He must be puzzle how I managed to detonate the CHRONO BOMB.”, Isaac mentally appreciated himself for what he had done.
Though it was a suicide mission of stealing Stein’s Blueprints for the quantum chip, it was a 99.9% possibility of death remodeling it for himself.
The feeling of realizing that they were the only people who were surviving the Time-Space Disruption caused by the bomb, must have given him goose bumps if the time had not slowed down.
He knew it was mere survival, because he knew he had to make his move before the next wave hit them or else he would be slowed down again quicker since every time the wave hit them, the time or distance between the waves would decrease exponentially thus making it even difficult for them to react when time flows normally.
Stein immediately regretted creating the quantum chip and the “The Literal Time bomb”, as they called it at the lab. Stein knew that a radius of 5 miles was caught in the Time-Space disruption.
“The quantum chip is your amulet to make yourself all powerful god and the Time bomb is your super weapon, Stein, pray it doesn’t fall into wrong hands”, words of Nikol echoed in his mind. she was his Lab partner and Partner in life.
He was previously slowed on his way towards the direction of the bomb by the wave that hit him, but thankfully the quantum chip that is embedded in his brain allowed him to stay outside of the Time-Space Fabric. He had won his Nobel Prize for this discovery.
Time began to return to its normal state slowly.
Isaac was slowly able to see things, he had only one thought “I must get out of this place and as far as possible to escape from the Permanent Time collapse”. But of course he knew it was not going to be easy with Stein on his tail. He moved as fast as he could towards his door. He waded through the rubble that was still floating from the time disruption.
Stein ran as fast as he could with all his might, and he spotted him, “Stop right there Isaac! I will eventually catch up to you”.
Isaac have a mild laugh and retorted, “Don’t you still realize that I also have my own version of your quantum chip?”.
“How did they even give this guy a Nobel Prize?” Isaac rolled his eyes.
“You were never bright in school either Stein”.
He raised his gun and shot at Stein, the first one missed him by an inch and the second one slowed down before it could reach Stein’s face.
The next wave had hit them. It was sooner that they thought.
If it was not for the disruption he would have had a hole in his head right now. Stein ironically thanked for the time wave that had hit now.
“Damn, I have crappy aim!” thought Isaac to himself.
Stein took in the picture and he knew that bullet would stay there long if he doesn’t move next time.
His brain was working rapidly and he was calculating every scenery possible for the next few moments
Isaac was hoping that the bullet would hit him. Time began to unreel slowly, but faster this time.
In a Matrix-Special-effects style movement Stein had thought up a scene of evading the bullet, but he knew it would impede his further movement.
He Slyly Tilted his head and let the bullet slowly accelerate beside him. Now he moved rapidly towards the glass that was floating nearby.
Isaac was bewildered at the speed of Stein’s movement. He had to escape.
The next wave had hit them even quicker than before.
The expressions of both Isaac and Stein was of pure shock.
It had dawned upon them that they had only one chance for them to escape or react.
After the next wave, the disruption would reach its saturation and they would be stuck in the time lapse infinitely.
It was beginning to return to normal. Stein forced his body to move opposing the time flow, every bit of his muscle was under strain and was screaming for release. He began moving with a burst of speed at the glass shard, he picked it up, and clutched it strongly. He now directed himself at Isaac who was surprised at his swiftness. With a shout of angst Stein jumped at Isaac “Isaaaaaccc!”
The Glass shard had made an incision on the skin directly above Isaac’s heart. Blood was slowly seeping out.
The Next wave hit them.
Fractions before…
A shot was heard. Tip of the bullet had already entered Stein’s chest. The blood splashed and froze. The Next wave hit them
They were stuck in the Time Lapse.
But Fate had other plans. It always has.
Another wave hit them.
Both were surprised. Time began to reverse to the point before the bomb was set off.
Isaac had entered the safe room where the Chrono bomb was kept.
He used the fingerprints he stole from Stein’s blueprints to set off the bomb.
The bomb ticked off and a voice played from the bomb, “Do not turn back if you want your face to be unharmed”
Stein landed a punch on his face, instantly breaking Isaac’s nose.
The police that had arrived there apprehended Isaac. “How is this possible?!” cried Isaac, stupefied.
“I love surprises, don’t you dear Isaac?” said Stein with a smug.
Little did Isaac know that his version of quantum chip was not guarded against reverse time flow.
Stein had Improved his quantum chip after it was stolen which allowed his brain and memories to stay intact. The bomb was dismantled the pieces were destroyed carefully.
Stein did as his Father had advised him, “Just throw the bait and wait son, he will come to you”.

The *beeping* annoying post.

WE all are Communal beings. We are interdependent on each other, though we may seem independent we are stringed to each other other by an invisible thread. But there is always this irritating abominations that tend to *beep* up this system.

We see these dumbheads in our day-today lives. While some of us ignore them, some of us can’t digest it. Here are some Examples,
-In heavy traffic and bright sunlight there is always this *beephole*  who honks the horn like he laid the*beeping* road.
-Another guy who does not allow the *beeping* honker to go his way, and deliberately blocks him.
-This another person who sits in a office and disrespects everyone who approaches him/her, though we respect them.
-oh but we forget he/she has to meet so many idiotic *beepers* on a day and treat them like a person we appointed.
-That government guy (its usually men), in a government bus who treats you like you owe him something, not even respecting you age or randomness.
-Those Passengers who do not know *beeping* public decency. (*beep* them!)
-Those *beepheads*  who smoke in a crowded public space, though you indirectly signal him that you find it offensive and those *dumbbeeps* who spit while the public transport is moving.
-And that *beepbeeper* who skips the line in queue.
-And also that creepy *beep* that comments publicly at your friends or relatives.
-Now don’t forget that irritating and annoying *beephole* that stops your vehicle though you have all your documents and stuff simply for money. (that piece of *beep*)
-Also don’t forget about YOURSELF.

~them *beeping* *beep* *beepers*

Tekhne.

-In the town of Episteme there were 3 -friends Snap, Crackle & Pop. They were normal college Beauts and were very popular around. But they bullied their classmate Magus. This Magus had a knack for Magic and Hypnotism. She was constantly ridiculed for her weirdness and abnormalities. They were Orphans.

“There goes magician douchebag”, called out Snap at Magus who was entering the Women’s restroom.
“Lets follow her and get our lunch money.” she continued. Crackle and Pop followed her obediently.
To their surprise Magus was leaning on the wide Bathroom mirror with an air of courage around her.
they were a bit surprised as she normally doesn’t even look up.

The only sound was of water drips.

“the moron is drunk eh?” whispered Crackle to Pop.
“shush!, she is chanting some spells on us, look at her lips” said Snap in low voice.
 “the little bitch is trying to curse us? Haha, what is she gonna do? make our noses grow long? grow warts on our face?, or worse make us look like her?! HAHAHAHA!!” Snap’s voice bellowed through the empty toilet.

“No, as a matter of fact I haven’t learned to curse yet. so as of now I’m going to hypnotise you three.” replied Magus slowly.
They could sense a change in her voice, she clearly was not afraid of them now.
This brought in a tingle over their skin.

“Do you best.”, retorted Snap.

With out hesitation she went around the girls in a wide circle, and mumbled something to herself.
and out loud she said “When I Click my tongue and Snap my fingers you shall be my servants until I
free you.”
There was a loud click and a snap. it echoed onto the ceiling and floor.

Silence, Pure Bland Silence. Even the dripping seemed to have stopped.

After Few moments Magus’ face changed, it was the face of disappointment.

The Trio Laughed at Magus and Gave a humiliating snare at her and left the place. They were shaken up too.

Jounce was looking at all this from outside the restroom and felt bad for Magus. The bullying still continued whenever they saw her and Magus was the butt of the trio’s jokes.
A Year later, Magus was now dating Jounce.

News was that Snap went to Europe to Pursue higher studies, Crackle Moved with her step-parents and Pop Was Married to some one in another state.

One night, at Magus’ House -“dear, would you bring me the Paint brush and my hand book?” asked  Magus.

“Please, let me do it Ma’am!” Chimed in another voice.
“Your wish, honey” smiled Magus.

A Floor above, a young figure was Cleaning the Bathroom
The Reflection on the tub was a Beautiful and Pretty Face.
But the Mind was Screaming “Somebody help me! Please, Help me someone Let me out of my mind!!! HELP US!!”

But Snap’s face was still Smiling calmly, Very calmly. Magus didn’t even twitch.

In a police station nearby The case of ‘three missing girls’ was still open in a dusty file.

~ click and snap! Hypotised yet?

Serenity.

thup! thup! thup!..
-you can feel the blood rushing behind your ears after running.
-you curse the conductor under your breath for not stopping in the respective stop.
-you find yourself half way between city and a barren lands.
-your only hope left you a moment ago.
-you’re stranded with a few strangers in which few of them look like thieves and others like goonda. you can’t blame them, its your mind playing tricks.
-your tongue is dry and feels like a combination of sand and cotton, you don’t salivate or even sweat.
-at a distance you could the next bus crowded even more than the previous one, some how you embark it.
-after a battle of body, mind and ego you reach your destiny, for now.
-you fear the problems you’re gonna have when you reach home.
-but everything changes when you smell the sweet aroma from the cup.
-you know future is gonna be hard to venture but instead you choose to take in the delicious redolence through your nose.
-you bless your Mom for what she has given you.
-every sip feels like an eternity of peace and calmness as the warm liquid glides through your throat.
-and it hits you ‘Instant Coffee is Instant heaven’
-life goes on….

~Life is happy, daily coffee.

The Early Morning blog.

Last night Maybe you were in this awesome party, you got drunk and snuck into your house onto your bed.
or you were up all night playing DOTA 2 or some other video game,
maybe watching a movie or simply Social networking,
(and yes nobody studies on saturday nights)
and now you wake up as late as 9 (for some its even 12 am).
-you find your Mom standing near your bed saying ‘kanna wake up and drink your coffeema’ -with  pleasant smile.
-you look at your phone for notifications, may be your sweetheart has sent you a cute good morning or your friends have given some like to your profile pic
-in the background you hear some divine music as you groggily get down from your bed and start walking towards bathroom.
-and this incredible smell of vadacurry/non-veg soup welcomes into daylight.
-you brush and drink your coffee and your brother offers the newspaper.
-and the day goes pleasantly.

-now enough dreaming sucker! WAKE UP!

-after you dad has smacked you on your back (at times your face!) your brother violently pulls you down from the bed (his kind of fun).
-and mom shouts ‘shaniyane nightu poora antha phone ahyum computerayum nonditu maadu maari thoongartha paaru, ithellam padichi enga urupada potho?’
-forced into the shower you’re left without any soap and no one to answer your cries. (you can feel you brother doing a evil laugh
-and you don’t even want to think about the message and notifications you saw in your phone.(sooo evil)

~Happy sunday (or sandai?)

Cooking 101.

-Take two cups of flour, add 1/2 cup warm milk, 1 cup water, a pinch of salt.
-Mix the mixture for at least 5 minutes.
-The consistency must be like, you know the clay children use for making models? yeah that (really, believe me).
-keep that aside for some time. let it ferment.
-now take two onions, a bell pepper, some cilantro, some lettuce and some peas (peace too bro).
-dice them properly.
-oh! you should have added yeast to the dough, you’re bad at this aren’t you?
-now run the the vegetables in a mixer once or twice.
-pour it on the pan with the tomato puree we prepared.
-saute and let it boil for 7 minutes exact (EXACT!).
-wait for 3 whistles and unload the dough.
-wait WHAT?!

Okay you must be more attentive.
-now take all those and throw it in your dustbin, I repeat dustbin!. (We don’t want blue cross or toxicologists snooping around your house)
-do this before your Mom sees you or this.
-If seen, Run!. Simply RUN.

-Ask Mom to cook.

~30 nalil samayal katru kolvathu eppadi 😛