Women Hypocrisy, Season N – A review

 

To begin with, the pilot episode started for me around the death of our Amma, with an excellent intro scene of her being convicted post-death. The dialogues like “சார்ந்தோர் அனைவருக்கும் ஆழ்ந்த (saarndhor varukkum aazhndha anudhabangal)” the whole picture of Hypocrisy was painted perfectly with her being the centre subject. My favourite characters were the ones who first said “சூது கவ்வும் தர்மம் வெல்லும்(soodhu kavvum, Dharman vellum)” during her initial arrest and later shed virtual tears when she passed away. The character sketch of these people would probably be a huge sine wave with the crest and trough kilometres apart. Kudos to the characters for letting themselves get manipulated by all kinds of media. The mid season episodes were the block buster according to me. Starring Soolie, Aundy Gayathri and Owner of Katta mutta, the Shut up pannunga woman, commander Of #OviyaArmy, Oviya.
That fucking Soolie, I was taken aback by how our வீர தமிழச்சி behaved on the show, ச்சீ செரி! How dare she try to survive on a show which everyone knows is completely scripted?! How dare she try to break the image we gave her from her Jallikattu protests?! How dare she behave in ways we didn’t like?! Would we behave like her when put inside a home for 100 days?, Even if the answer is yes, why are we going to accept it? நாம தான் வெளிய இருக்கோம்ல, ஐ ஐ! So we can abuse, defame and even harass her if we need.
Now this Gayathri Aundy, paah, what a writing and what a characterization! What a great actor she is! What style, what realism, what passion! I really hate her enough to publicly abuse her and judge her for her acting skills. I wonder what she is getting paid.
Aiyo my chellakutty, Oviya! How many times I have seen you, how many times have I walked past you, how many times I’ve heard about you, and how many times I’ve judged you. Your performance on screen was adipoli. But, hehe, don’t be like this in real life okay, we’ll force your marriage and thrust unnecessary bullshit in the name of கலாச்சாரம். Hey we’re the rich Indian culture of 2000 years, respect and follow, or burn. #OviyaArmy dawww. Also I was reminded of these hashtag during the above episodes, #AcidAttacks, #HonorKillings, #LegallyRaped and more.
The season finale of the series annoyed me very much. த்தா how dare she talk and tweet about our hero just because she has the freedom of speech and is legally right, And even had the right opinion?! How dare she talk about the password of Karunanithi a that had absolutely nothing to do with his multiple wives?! What kind of woman is she?! கோம்மாலே athan we abused her and sent her death threats.
Though there are other significant moments of this season, this is how much I was paid to review the season and I loved this season like every other season of Women Hypocrisy because, நான் தான் அக்கா தங்கச்சியோட போரக்கலியே.
My special thanks to the other women who keep this show running.

My rating: 5 stars for the 5 stars.
#HarishOut

Bulbu

Present

His hips were moving in motion with hers, it was a dance, tension filled. She slowly held his arms as he guided her with his motion. It was 11.30 and the whole city was going to sleep, but not these two. Breathing a sigh of breath, he went and sat down on the nearby chair, he let her go as she settled into a comfortable position of her own. He lit his cigar and relaxed his arms taking in the dark humid night from his roof less terrace.

She called him to come back and he did with a smile. Holding her from the back he pulled her arms and uttered something in her ears, only the dark skies and the warm air would know.

Tearing the warm air, an Arrow pierced its targets with precision. The archer didn’t even try to move. He was standing there in the same position, feeling proud at how the arrow went through both the targets, its tip now dripping red.

He slowly let his compound bow down to the floor. It hit with a “thud”.

Earlier that day

El was furious. El had stomped out of the meeting hall after threatening to kill Yu if he didn’t sign the merger as agreed before. In a battle of the wits Yu managed to outwit El in a deal by simply changing a clause which might lead to a major loss for El’s firm. Graduating out of the same university, they met a few years after their graduation in a business meeting. Yu fell in love with El’s sexy secretary, Bea. But Bea had been rejecting El’s offers for a date. Long story short, Bea and Yu are now engaged and El is enraged.

Added to his anger for their relationship he was humiliated when Yu pointed out the clause which ruled out the shares in the favour of his firm.

Off late, El was seen in his archery ranch practicing his shots with visible anger. And that argument in the meeting had sparked off his rage and he stormed off threatening to kill Yu.

Present

He revelled at how his aim did not miss the target. He suddenly sat down in the pranayama pose and began to meditate. From nowhere, a projectile hit his head. He slumped to the floor.

20 floors above and 2 blocks away, two bodies were dancing in the midnight sky. Yu was holding her from behind, putting her in posture. She was holding the slender hard thing in her hand. A slight jerk and Yu jumped.

“Hold the putt properly Bea

“What a weird game golf is!” Bea exclaimed as she let guide Yu guide her in swinging the golf putt. She swung it, her shot was powerful enough to launch the ball to the moon, but she almost let the golf putt slip away.

Next Day Morning

“Fuck off Bea, I’ll sue you both for this”, Yu banged on his hands on the table and motioned Bea to get away from his room.

He had caught her trying to steal some files from his cabinet.

Yu’s phone rang and his face was a mix of emotions. “El is dead”, he said to Bea, coldly.

Later that day

Though Yu’s plan didn’t go as he had planned, he was happy that El was gone for good. The sip of whiskey he took a slightly stung his chest, ignoring it he swung his putt. An explosion was heard. The explosion maimed Yu and he fell to the floor.

Hearing the blast, the killer hid himself and made sure that his gun’s safety was on. He did not want it to misfire like last time. He saw a disfigured Yu and breathed a sigh of relief, though both his plans had flopped, they both are dead now.

He called Bea to inform his success.

10 kilometres away Bea’s phone was ringing and she was convulsing and crawling on the floor towards the phone, but in vain. A diabetes injection lay there on the table.

CSI statements

Bea’s death

Though it might seem like Bea died from poison in her diabetes medicine, she didn’t actually die of poisoning. In anxiousness and urgency of taking her injection, she injected a rather large bubble into her system and it caused air embolism which gave her a heart attack.

El’s death It is weird how El died, His arrows were laced with poison and if not for his gloves he would have been dead long before the golf ball hit him. He was poisoned anyway.

His shoes had been primed to inject a poison into his feet.

But that’s not it. The golf ball is a modified grenade that didn’t go off like it was supposed to. One interesting factor is that this golf ball was dented hard, though golf balls are not dented buy putts, considering the situation I would say the person has a great swing.

The surprising thing is the golf ball didn’t kill him. He had a heart attack. Medical records state that it was his 3rd attack.

Yu’s Death

Yet another case where the victim was poisoned. Though unsure of why and the how, his drinking glasses and his gloves had trace amounts of poison.

An astonishing fact it that at the place of crime there was only one explosion heard but there are two points of explosion. One is his mouth where he must have had his cigar, and the second one was near the edge of the open terrace. The fantastic thing about this golf ball that hit him was a similar one from El’s death; It was a golf ball that was modified to explode on contact.

Unconvinced about his mode of death, I dug in deeper and found out that he was having a heart attack before/during the time of the simultaneous explosions. On doing biopsy I found out that the Cigar didn’t have enough power to kill him but only disfigure his face and the golf ball explosion was too far to have affected him, so he died of Heart attack.

Only thing I’m not able to explain is the hole in the glass window.

Killer’s Night out.

Buu was a Nepalese Bea had hired to kill El and Yu. She had instructed him to stage a kidnapping when she was with Yu so that she can use the staging to get the files she needed. Buu was also instructed to plant poison in El’s shoes.

But as fate planned something Else for them, he dropped his phone onto the floor in the dark and his gun silenced went off when he accidentally banged his hand on the table. The same call made Bea jerk and give more power than intended, making the ball float into the dark skies.

Buu who was two floors below fired the shot. The explosive yet defective golf ball didn’t burst when the bullet hit it. Rather it travelled in El’s direction with the help of physics.

1853

H.Gustav Magnus sees the effect of a ball curving due to difference in pressure around the ball.

With blessings from Isaac Newton’s ghost, the effect is named as Magnus effect.

#BULBU

 

Condle

He followed her through dawn,
Unknown, unseen, hidden from sight,
The world figured, “its love”,
But he seemed alone always,
None accompanied, none around him,

His window was a door,
A door to her place,
He sat watching, drawing, Planning
Often lost in adoring her,
He needed to be reminded,

The headquarters did that often,
A voice said, “concentrate, concentrate!”
But her beauty was captivating,
Her curvaceous lips call seductively,
To join her, join her lust,

Clearing his head, he focussed,
He was here for brilliance,
A brilliance that created energy,
Unlimited energy, for my employer,
I was sent to steal,
But I lost my heart,
Called infinite candle, My target,
She had made unquenchable light,
A Wax maker by profession,
Scientist by passion, a shadow,

Infinite Candle was right there,
A bright white light glowing,
Unlike conventional candles, a scintillation,
Confused looking at the window,
Infinite Candle or Infinite Love?

Three months of courting her,
only a number I found,
a week passed, with love,
she seemed to have noticed,
Me following her, but unaware,
Unaware that of my intentions,
We fell in love, digitally,
Forgetting my task, I fell,
A date was due, inevitable,
We couldn’t wait, I knocked,

No one answered, creaked open,
There it was, the candle,
But something felt wrong here,
No Candle, nothing infinite, Led,
A single LED was glowing,

Eyes froze, stunned by fear,
A Call broke my shock,
the gruff voice said, “Window”
peeking, I found a face,
a Familiar face, her face,
Removing her wig, He smiled,
Holding my Laptop, he Mouthed,
But I didn’t understand, confused,
His writing mocked me, hilariously,
It said, “I love You”
A creep passed through me,
His files read, “Con, Rapist”

Saithan Cycle la Varuthu Ft. Me

I’ve been in Chennai all my life. There are lots of things to point out to Chennai for its glory and specialty. But, there are tons of directors that talk about it. Why am I here now? To talk about traffic- the one thing no one seems to want to write about… or have I missed it? My travel through the city can be divided into three major modes: Walking, Bus and Cycle. Riding in a/a Bike or a car is unbelievably rare for me, because I’ve got a mediocre knowledge of both. There is a very little to discuss about Nada-raja service because, to get caught in traffic when you’re walking is a skill. Either you must be “yo momma so fat” fat or you must be well, have lost your screws up there.
Coming to Bus travel I have already written about it in my previous posts and blogs about all the jannal seat conundrums and ticket kashtams. People who know me, must’ve read it. Here I’d like to tell about my general adventures of Chennai traffic and with my cycle too. Before I start off, I don’t know if bikers and other two wheelers face the similar or even more difficulties, if so, let the Road-u madha bless you with all the chilra you’re gonna vaarify.
Going on Chennai roads is an art. Oru vela athan namma aalungaluku varaliyo? Probably this is the only place in Tamil nadu where the “left la indicator potu right la porathu makes sense”, and might become legal soon. Enna? people want to ban momos, why not ban logic? My cycle has two blinkers, one in the front and one in the rear. I almost always never forget the blinkers when there is no sunlight since I met with a small accident. But I’m not sure, if all these people can see the blinking light. There will be this uncle in a Fuel economy bike whom I think might have asked his wife to make murungakka sambar, murungakka poriyal, murungakka kootu and all, oh and aththi pazham juice too. He will be in ulaga-maga rush to his home, when? When sun is out kolthing. Dei it’s 11.30 da, enga mela otitu nee veetuku poi o… seri okay avarukum vazhi vittuta there will be this couple on R15. She will be sitting in 1st floor and he in basement. I often think that this setup is a sly technique by boys to make the girl hug them during brakes since oru front brake will lead to angry bird action of launching the girl into the air.
Okay da, neengalum ponga, then there will come this share auto driver who must’ve been this kid who didn’t get to ride a cycle. He will take all the inch gap and centimeter gaps and will do his best to do the “Cycle gap la Sindhu paaduvan” thingy, with his share auto. Seri share autovum pogatum nu vitta then, his younger cousin, Auto will come. He will be blessing everyone with all the cuss words and profanities known to mankind and dinosaurkind. I even feel his skills in kazhuvi oothing your family is better than his driving skills. Though these auto annas are better maps than google but they give off more heat than a Redmi phone. Beside this auto there will be one guy in lungi on a RX-100 who will have a 90’s bgm as his horn and will scare all the pazhaya aunties and thathas. Sometimes there will be a girl in his pillion seat who’s face will be mummified in the dhupatta. He will give her heart attack instead of orgasms by driving through all the sandhu bonthu. Dei that is not the gap you must… okay.
Somehow coming past all this, we come to a Major signal in that direction of the city. And past that signal will be your college, home, hostel, bathroom ellam. That signal is the ultimate barrier for all the things in life and I’m pretty sure everyone knows what signal I’m talking about. This signal is designed such a way that, all the following things will happen.
  1. You’ll reach your college for 3rd sem arrear exam if you start for 11th half yearly.
  2. You’ll reach for your child’s 3rd birthday if you’re going to meet your 1st ex-girlfriend.
  3. You start for an interview and reach for your Junior’s promotion. Wait, that won’t happen! Avanukum vela kedachirukathu.
  4. You start during Sherlock Season 5 and reach when Sherlock season 6 promo comes out.
  5. You start for Saravanan Meenatchi… uh… you’ll still end up there.
Then there are these roadu janthus, the maadu-Ola, aadu-Uber, Chinna yaanai-Tata ace, The Karadi government bus who will be ruling the roads and they might even have a will stating, “This is my Grandfather road”. You somehow pass that “ootla soltu vantiya” scooty guy who scolds us for going by rules, and the “kanna enga vechitu vara” XL aunty, aiyyo I meant TVS XL. Barry Allen eh confuse aagura alavuku timeline changes nadanthu eppadiyo green signal vizhum.
When the Signal turns green there will be these idiots who will start honking 0.0001 seconds after green goes off, why da ivlo avasaram? In a nutshell, the only possibility where you reach your destination in time is when your destination is The Signal itself.
Once you’ve time travelled through this signal you’ll then face the bigger demons of the road, oh not the direct contractors of Mr.Yeman – The elemental combo – the Mannu Lorry and the Thanni Lorry – But the all cosmetic imperfections of the road which the cosmic entity in itself would not know why. First there will be a speedbreaker, but it will be taken because it would be too bumpy for vehicles, so they will remove it half-heartedly, apparam when sky goes chucha, the bad digging will lead to potholes which will lead to plot holes in our life. The hole will develop and they will announce it as metrotrain works soon. Escaping all the holes you’ll definitely be bound to find yourself to the surprise pan missiles from bus and lorry windows. Even Kaaka does kakka on you. Onnyum panna mudiyathu.
If you have somehow crossed all this to reach your destination, then the gods bless you with a splash of mud from the rain, and the rain itself to wash it off. Ivvalavum mudichi antha edathula poi sentha, oruthan kepan, “Dei nee innuma cycle otitu iruka?”.
Tyre oda senthu namma heart layum kaathu pogum.
#CyclingSambarthayam

The Marriage

In an event of rare occurrence a Swami and a Nun we’re engaged to each other. The best man of the wedding was their best friend, a Fakir.

But the Nun’s followers didn’t want him to get married, so they deviced a plan to stop the marriage. Some big shots manipulated the fakir to plant another woman’s inner wear in the Swami’s room so that his fiancé thinks he is cheating on her.

The Nun knew there was a conspiracy going on from her followers and was very alert. They gave him multiple items to plant on the bed that the Swami was sleeping in. But the fakir being Swamiji’s best friend had a last minute change of mind so he made a plan. The fakir didn’t notice the Nun who was hiding in the balcony and her brother, a Pastor, who was hiding inside. He tiptoed silently up to Swami’s bed and began placing the clothes and a paper hidden inside telling all the details. They both caught him red handed, but he confessed. At that time The Swami woke up and saw the clothes and misunderstood the situation. Angrily, he attacked his best friend. The fakir now irritated, stopped Swami and showed him the note which explained everything. Now the followers who were waiting outside from outside the room were ashamed and asked for their forgiveness. The Swami directed them to his Fiancé but she didn’t forgive them and told them the Lord will take care.

A writer was was seeing all this from the next building. He was sleepy but his deaf wife wanted to know what happened. So he shortened the whole climax and said in his own comical way,
“You fakir! She Swami!, I ran Pastor”
The wife asked about the woman, he replied
“Fucks given: Nun”

Red Wet Bed

Aishu was excited, because she going to meet him after 4 months. Vijay, her love, her husband. She was finding it hard to hold her excitement about surprising him. She was laughing about how Vijay was complaining about his hotel neighbour being a noisy one. When she arrived there, She told the hotel staff of her surprise plan and waited for him in his room. It was beginning to get late and she texted him as if she wasn’t in his place. Vijay said that he won’t be going to hotel cause he was staying at one of his colleagues place nearby for the night. In thoughts of surprising him early morning, she went to bed smiling. The bed was peculiar and felt like it had pebbles under it. Midst her sleep her dress began to become cold and wet. Opening her eyes she saw a figure dancing above her, two arms falling and making soft tapping noises. Her heart jumped and she adjusted her eyes only to see a khaki colored shirt that was hung near her bead. It’s buttons were tapping against the wood.

Composing herself she, sat up right and rolled the shirt and threw it into a corner. The scarlett draped bed wasn’t wet anywhere but her dress was changing into fresh clothes she went back to sleep again to be woken by a screeching noise and keys jingling.

It was Vijay!

She acted as if she was sleeping and waited for him to come to bed. She waited and waited and dozed off. During her sleep she felt his arms playing over her skin but didn’t say anything. It was so typical of Vijay… But throughout the night, she felt as if something was dripping somewhere near here. She even felt something drop on her often.

She woke up startled early morning, Vijay wasn’t there. She open the main room door, to find Vijay coming out of the opposite room. He seemed surprise and said that he didn’t know that Aishu was there to visit him. At the exact moment the concierge came in running and said ‘I gave the wrong key, ma’am, this room is off the limits’. The concierge was breathing up and down, Vijay had a fear that was evident in his eyes.

Before we could ask him more questions, He continued, “Two years ago, there was a serial killer who stayed in this room. He killed his victims dug out their eyes and skinned them alive.”
Vijay’s Jaw dropped and Aishu’s legs began to tremble. Vijay started to say something, but the Concierge interrupted and continued.
“He has killed hundreds of people and has done the same modus operandi of skinning them alive and removing their eyeballs using kitchen knife only. He hid the eyeballs in his bed and hung the skins over the bed. The police told us that he enjoyed getting soaked by his victims’ blood as it dripped on him.”
“H..h…aa…has he been caught?” blurted Aishu.
“Oh yes, he was caught.”
Vijay and Aishu sighed in union
“ ‘was’… but he escaped…”
“ The police also found out that he often disguised himself as a Hotel staff”
The Concierge Smiled.

உவமேயம்

அவளின் சுவையை வர்ணிக்க ஆசைபட்டது தவறோ?
பூண்டு பரல்களில் கடுகு நட்டத்தை போல இரு கண்கள்,
குடைமிளகாயை குடைந்தது போல் ஒரு வள்ளிய மூக்கு,
அதிலே கிராம்பு மினுக்கும் அவள் தும்முகையில்,
வெட்கப்படும் அழகை காட்டிகொடுக்கும் வெட்டிய தக்காளி காது,
வாழைப்பூ வர்ணமும் தாழம்பூ வாசமும் கொண்ட கன்னம்,
வெண்டை பிஞ்சின் தோலை போல் முளைத்த மீசை பிரமாதம்,
சிதற விட்ட கடுகை போல் நீ பேசாதிருக்கையில் நான் பொறிந்தேன்,
நீண்ட கடு மிளகாயை ஒத்த உன் உதடுகள்,
அதை தோட்ட என் இதழ்களில் காரம், காமம் எல்லாம் சுவைத்தேன்,
பால் கொதிகலன் விசில் அடிப்பதை போல் நீ சிரிப்பது அழகு,
உன் வாய் மலர்கையில் அந்த ஜவ்வரிசி பற்கள் பேரழகு,
கொத்தமல்லியை நீரில் தோய்த்தெடுத்ததை போல நீள் கூந்தல்,
நெல்லியை கடித்தது போல் இருக்கிறது உன்னோடு வாழ்வது,
தள்ளி நின்று பானையில் நீ எரியும் இஞ்சி என் காயத்திற்கு பஞ்சு,
பொங்கும் சோறும், காலின் கொலுசும் “ஜல்” எனும் ஓசை எழுப்பும்,
கரண்டியின் நடனகானம் அந்த கை வளையல்,
விரித்த பச்சை வாழிலையில் அடுக்கிய பட்சணம் உன் லட்சணம்,
வில்லுடைத்து ஜானகியின் மனம் வெல்வான் அந்த ராமன்,
நெல் புடைத்து உன்னை காத்து கொள்வான் இந்த சாப்பாட்டு ராமன்.
#கவிப்போம்